Diary

If I wrote a journal what would it look like? What would I write every day? Would I sound happy or sad?

I have thought about this a lot lately. I don't know if it is depression, pregnancy, anxiety, stress, or maybe a combination of all. All I know is it isn't normal to not want to be here anymore. To have such strong emotions that most times I can't control myself. This has happened a lot lately. If there is one thing about me people don't know yet, it is that I suffer from depression. I know it is so common these days, but I am finally admitting it out loud. I am finally getting it off my chest.

I, Tasha, SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION. I can pretend I have the best life in the world, and I do, but until I come to terms with the fact that something is seriously wrong with me, figure out what I need to do, and deal with it, I will never truly have that happy mortal life I want so badly.

All I have thought about lately is how I want to be happy. Now many people, including myself, say how can I not be happy. I am happily married to the love of my life, have two beautiful children, and one on the way, a home, car, what else is there?

I am trying to stay positive, and I thought trying to stay busy was the key to getting better. But honestly I think I need to address my feelings, write everything down, talk to someone if I feel the need to. That is why I want to start a journal. By writing in my journal I can write my feelings down with out hiding anything. Ian hoping that by doing this it will take some of the weight off my shoulders and make me feel a little better.

If you have any other ideas I would love to hear them. Please feel free to write me with your suggestions.